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Why Hockey Players are Better than all other Pro Athletes

Oct. 29th, 2007 | 10:57 am
music: The Good Old Hockey Game

Besides the missing teeth, and "time-out" for fighting mid-game, they truly speak from the heart when being interviewed:

From Czech Jiri Tlusty of the Toronto Maple Leafs in regard to his first NHL goal scored on a deflection, “ 'He shoot to my ass and I little bit feel it,' he told The Toronto Globe and Mail, referring to linemate Alexander Steen’s shot, 'but I don’t say nothing'.”

Ahh, it just gives me the warm fuzzies inside....

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It's "Mona Shaw Time...."

Oct. 18th, 2007 | 01:09 pm

This woman is my hero.  She is legitimately too legit, too legit to quit:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/17/AR2007101702359.html?hpid=artslot

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Why is this news??

Aug. 22nd, 2007 | 12:36 pm

I literally found this on CNN.com this afternoon:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/08/22/dinosaur.speed.reut/index.html

I didn't realize that the Cable News Network was now run by a bunch of drunken or high British teenagers?

Who else would make lead story about who would win in a race: David Beckham or a T-Rex.

I hope they have breaking news coverage of this important issue. 

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upcoming improv schedule

Aug. 7th, 2007 | 02:33 pm

So here is my schedule for the rest of the month.  Let me know if you are interested in coming to any of the shows:

Friday, Aug 10: 10 PM Blue Show
Saturday, Aug 11: 7:30 PM ComedySportz Show, 10:00 PM Blue Show
Friday, August 17: 6 PM Arlington Fair ComedySportz Show, 8 PM ComedySportz Show, 10 PM Blue Show
Saturday, August 18: 7:30 PM ComedySportz Show, 10 PM Blue Show
Saturday, August 25: 10 PM Blue Show 
Friday, August 31: 10 PM Blue Show

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Queer Eye for the Super Guy

Jul. 13th, 2007 | 01:41 pm

So one of life's inponderables came to mind the other day that I thought I would post to let the world ponder:

Although Queer Eye is not the cultural icon it used to be, I think that it is the best reference in this scenario:

If Superman were on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which look would they be more likely to seriously critique and makeover: that of Superman or that of Clark Kent?

Tight spandex, bright colors, outside briefs, high top boots, and a cape.....vs. worker cog suit and glasses.  It's a tough call!

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Improv Schedule

Jun. 18th, 2007 | 12:42 pm

So, since I have this crazy blog thing, I figure that I can put it to use for something.  

Now, that I am performing with the DC ComedySportz Troupe, I figured I would utilize this blog to keep you all posted on what shows I will be performing at.  However, I hope that you will go see some shows even when I am not there, as it is always hilarious entertainment/cheap forms of therapy.

So, the following is my schedule for the next couple of weeks, and feel free to share it with anyone who may be interested.

Friday, June 22
10:00 PM - Blue Show (Adult themes and content - rated R)

Friday June 29
8:00 PM - ComedySportz Show (Family friendly - rated PG)

Saturday June 30
7:30 PM - ComedySportz Show (Family friendly - rated PG)
10:00 PM - Blue Show (Adult themes and content - Rated R)

For more information about ComedySportz, to buy tickets online, or just to visit a new website: Check out www.comedyindc.com

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Say It Isn't So

Feb. 3rd, 2006 | 01:01 pm

I learned something really upsetting yesterday: Jodi Sweetin is a recovering meth addict.

Yes, folks: Stephanie Tanner is drug whore.

This news really hit me. I almost feel like a piece of my innocence was stolen from me. I mean, it's Stephanie Tanner! The sweet, innocent, middle child on Full House. I know that Full House has had their share of problems, but hell, I always new that the Olsen twins were going to grow up to be anorexic, skanky coke whores. You could tell by the way they strutted around in their diapers in those early episodes. But, not Stephanie. She was the good one. I mean, "How Rude."

I am glad though that she doesn't blame it ENTIRELY on being a child star like everyone else does. So cliche. She does cite it for blame a little bit, but the real blame is boredom for being out of work. Now that she is in rehab, she is hoping to get back in to acting. I hate to tell her that it's not really going to happen, she's gonna go back to being bored, and wind up snorting rat droppings next. After all, if no one wanted to hire her after Full House, they are certainly not going to want to hire her as an out of work, former child star, recovering meth addict. She's better off trying to do commercials for used car dealerships, or porn.

Oh and by the way Jodi (as we are on a first name basis now), if the Olsen twins are part of the group that comes to lead your intervention, then you have much bigger problems than just being a meth addict.

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What is a Super Bowl Food?

Feb. 3rd, 2006 | 12:57 pm

As Super Bowl is coming up, I have been in the process of planning/thinking about what to serve at a Super Bowl party.  Now, Dan and my ideas of what should/should not be served at a Super Bowl party differ very widely.

Here is a take on mine:

Any food item that is traditionally accompanied by a fine glass of wine is NOT a Super Bowl party food.  If you are breaking out the fine china for the dish (because you feel it cannot be presented on the 99 cent paper plates from CVS), you should not be seriving it at a Super Bowl party.

On the other hand, any food that is traditionally accompanied by a beer and/or works with paper plates and Solo cups IS a Super Bowl food.

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Here's My Book List

Jan. 27th, 2006 | 10:05 am

Here are the current top 50 books from www.whatshouldireadnext.com. Bold the books you have read. Italicise the books you might read. Cross out the books you probably won't read, ignore books you have no opinion on. Pass it on.

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams
The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald
To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter 6) - J.K. Rowling
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell
Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
<strike>Lord of the Flies - William Golding</strike>
<strike>Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen</strike>
1984 - George Orwell
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Book 3) - J.K. Rowling
One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut
Angels and Demons - Dan Brown
Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
Neuromancer - William Gibson
Cryptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
The Secret History - Donna Tartt
A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess
<strike>Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte</strike>
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
American Gods - Neil Gaiman
Ender's Game (The Ender Saga) - Orson Scott Card
Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
Middlesex - Jeffrey Eugenides
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
<strike>Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte</strike>
Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman
Atonement - Ian McEwan
The Shadow Of The Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Old Man and the Sea - Ernest Hemingway
The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
Dune - Frank Herbert

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A Critique on Awards Ceremonies

Jan. 16th, 2006 | 10:55 pm

First off, bravo to finally giving an award to Philip Seymour Hoffman. He is one of the best actors around, and rarely gets noticed by the mainstream because of his tendency to take on eccentric films and minor roles. It is about time that he is recognized for his outstanding skill.

With that being said, it has become abundantly clear to me as to why Philip Seymour Hoffman was awarded the Golden Globe for Best Actor.

You see, critics LOVE giving awards to 2 distinct types of portrayals in Hollywood. First, they love giving awards to straight people who play gay people (Hillary Swank, Charlize Theron). They also love to give awards to actors who play real people (Jamie Fox).

This year certainly followed the trend: Juaqoin (who the hell can spell his name) Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, and Felicity Huffman.

Now, when they got to the Best Actor award, this became tricky. Obviously, Brokeback Mountain has been seriously hyped up and you certainly knew that it would win Best Picture (especially after Ang Lee won for Best Director). Heath Ledger was receiving rave reviews. However, there were two actors who were playing gay characters up for this award: Heath Ledger and Philip Seymour Hoffman. So, how do you decide who wins?

2 straight actors, playing 2 gay characters.....This is tough.

But, wait! Not only is Philip Seymour Hoffman's character gay, but he is also a REAL PERSON!

He's hit the awards jackpot!

Hey, I would totally pretend to be a celebrity and make out with another girl if it meant that I would just get an invitation to the Golden Globes or the Oscars. That gives me an idea....think any studioes would want to pick up Brittney Spears, the movie?

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